


Somewhere only we know.

by Lost_poet14



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Grief/Mourning, Letters, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:22:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27568972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_poet14/pseuds/Lost_poet14
Summary: Before Coulson dies he writes a letter for each member of his team,letting them know how much they changed his life and how much he enjoyed their time together.OrHow i imagined what Coulson would say if he wrote everyone goodbye Letters(Basically just angst,a slight humour but mostly just sad)
Relationships: Phil Coulson & Yo Yo Rodriguez, Phil Coulson/Alphonso "Mack" Mackenzie, Phil Coulson/Jemma Simmons, Phil Coulson/Leo Fitz, Phil Coulson/Melinda May, Phil Coulson/Skye | Daisy Johnson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

1.Jemma 

Jemma had just lost her husband or someone who looked like her husband,her real husband was floating out in space,fast asleep.5 months ago it happened,but she still re-lived the moment in her head when she was told Fitz died from a building collapsing on him,she had required a team to find him of which where leaving tommorow,Her,Daisy,Piper and Davies.Coulson died about nearly two months ago,and everyone was left a letter from Coulson,Jemma wasn't sure if she wanted to read and it took her a very long time to get the letter from inside her closet,she figured she was leaving tommorow for god knows how long so she might aswell read what last words Coulson has to say to her.She didn't want to read some rubbish about how he lived a good and honourable life,she just wanted the truth,she was so sick of everyone saying they were sorry for her loss and the last thing she needed was Coulson in his letter before he died feeling sorry for her aswell.

Her fingers were shaking as she trased the writing with her finger "to Fitz(Simmons)" it read,she got the joke and so she chuckled at it,with a tear streaming down her face,she knew the letter would be filled with jokes,because that's who Coulson was,when in a bad situation he hated seeing people in dispair and so he made subtle jokes to hopefully lighten the mood _he really did make everyone laugh after a hard mission_ she thought to herself,tears were now on the paper,she tasted the salt on her lips and sniffed,she was so done with crying but she couldn't help herself,she is about to read the letter of a man who was like her father-- no he _was_ her father,and she wish she got a chance to tell him that,a chance to tell him he was the father she wanted most her life,and that she loved him,but she was always so scared of the feeling not being mutual,which May reminded her after his passing that the feeling was 100% mutual.Jemma took a deep breathe then opened the letter.

_Dear Jemma,_

_I don't exactly know how to write this letter,it's difficult to say the least,i hope your doing okay,have you found Fitz yet? If you haven't i know you will soon,give him a hug for me._

_There is a lot of my life i regret but one thing i will never regret is meeting you,i think you were only in your early 20s when i met you and Fitz,you were so bright and full of life,you had that spark in your eyes that said you were going to change the world,which you did,i can't count the times you've saved my ass.I gave up a lot of things for SHIELD,and i always thought having children would be the main one,that was until i met you,Fitz and Daisy,you three are the children i never had,i wish i told you that,i love you so much Jemma,you will forever have a special place in my heart,i will always remember you as the girl who had 2 PHD in fields i couldn't pronounce and the girl who accused me of having prostitutes on a train (still don't know why you felt the need to specify i had more than one) and the girl who finally got married to the guy we all knew she was destined to marry.Being apart of your wedding was the most special event of my life,you looked so beautiful,and I've never been more proud of you,i can't wait till you and Fitz have kids (p.s The name Phil is a very trendy name these days *wink*)_ i know I'm making to _o many jokes so you won't be upset but i know you Jemma,you lock your feelings away and i wish you wouldn't,this year will be hard,not just because of my death but because of finding Fitz,but i hope you find happiness,don't stress too much that I'm not here,I'll forever be greatful for the time we had together and although i regret not spending more time with you,i know there is no pointing in doing the whole "what if" thing,I've done that too many times in my life but i wouldn't change a thing about our relationship.The look on your face when you found of about the deal i made with ghost rider will always haunt me,i never wanted to make you so upset,or hide anything from you,it was too difficult to tell someone and i thought that if i hid it at the back of my mind long enough it would go away,which we obviously found out it didn't,but learn from that mistake Jemma,if your suffering don't keep it to yourself,you might be angry at a lot of people right now,and i might be one of those people and i don't blame you but i don't want you to look back at our memories in 10 years and clinch your fist because i left,i want you to smile and remember the good times and how much i cared for you._

_I remember when I first met you,you were only what,17? Maybe 18? You had this look in your eyes that was hungry for adventure,you were always so eager to go into the field and save the world,you did such a amazing job Jemma,you should be so proud,would tell you to finally rest but I know until you find Fitz you won't,I hate that I can't say goodbye to him in person but I know you will give him the letter I've written._

_I wish i would be there to see you grow up even more,but i saw you go from a girl fresh out the academy to flinching at the sight of a gun to a strong women who has saved the world from viruses,deadly forces and even aliens.YOU did that Jemma and you should be so proud,because i am,I'm as proud as a soccer mom watching her son score a goal (okay i swear now I'll stop with the bad dad jokes) I can't wait till you tell your kids about me,and the stories you'll tell,and I wish I could be there when one of them says ",is that really true grandpa?" And I would wink and tap my nose.But unfortunately my time is coming to an end,but the end of my life was amazing,I found all of you,and I don't why but you all believed in me and followed me when nobody else would,but you did.You all are more than a team to me,your my family,your the daughters and sons I never got the chance to have except I had you for 7 years and it didn't dawn on me until near the end how I much I loved everyone on our team.I know you will find a way to feel guilty about my death but don't,it's not with the tears or the strength,channel it and use it for what your best at.I hate that wiritng this letter has to come to an end,and I hate even more that you have to read this when I'm gone,but know that I wouldn't change a thing about my life,because I'm so happy with how things ended up,I'm so very proud of how far you've come Jemma,I will always love you and I hope you'll always carry me close to your heart,because I mean it quite literally,the necklace in the envelope was my grandmother's,She uses to give me one every year on Christmas and told me to give it to my daughter if I ever got one,By the time you look at it the little locked will contain some of my ashes,so you can always hold me close by._

_p.s in your top drawer,you'll know it when you see it_

_I'll forever be with you Sweetheart_

_All my love,dad_

Jemma let go of the letter and sobbed into her hands,he was her father in every way but blood,and she will never forget what she he did for her.

After she whipped her tears away she examined the necklace,it had a golden chain with a small heart pendant,and small roses at the side of it,she opened it up to find a picture of her and Coulson which was taken when she was in the med bay,she was so bored from sitting in the hospital bed all day Coulson came in to speak with her to cheer her up,she was sulking and he decided to take a picture with a over exaggerated smile and thumps up while she crossed her arms and huffed.She laughed at the picture and traced it with her fingers and smiled at the memory,she looked at the other side to see some of his ashes which was covered by a small glass beracade so none of it could escape,Jemma looked at herself in her desk mirror then put the necklace on,she examined it I the mirror, _it was beautiful_.

After examining the necklace she opened her top drawer per Coulsons instruction,to which she found the Colone he would wear everyday and a jacket he would wear on his days off,she picked it up and sniffed it, _it still smelt like him,_ she hugged the jacket,even though it wasn't Coulson it was the closest she could get to ever hugging him again.

She put on the jacket and locked the cologne away in a mini safe she had under her bed,making sure to never use the Colone unless it was to spray the jacket,she smiled to herself because maybe not today,or tommorow or for a little while but she knew 

_she was going to be okay._


	2. Chapter 2

2.Fitz 

Fitz was lying on his bed and looking up at the sealing,a million thoughts running through his mind, _ypu were dead,Jemma married a different version of you,Coulsons dead._ Fitz sat up in an attempt to dismiss his thoughts.He had barely any time-- No he had _no_ time to process every new bit of information that was thrown at him,which seemed to be every time he had just caught his breathe from the last bomb shell. 

He put his face in his hands and signed again,today everyone had a party for his and Simmons return.Jemma told him about Coulsons letter to which he kept refusing to read,he knew his brain couldn't handle it but Daisy made him a deal,she was too scared to read it so she told him if that night he read his letter she would read hers,he knew they both needed this closure so he agreed.

 _a year_ ,those two words kept echoing in his mind, _Coulson has been dead a year,_ of course to him Coulson had been dead only about 9 hours concidering that's when he was told,the thought had not settled in yet,he was saying over and over again _"the only father figure who treated you like a son has died"_ but his mind 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Please comment suggestions,this made me so sad to make :(


End file.
